You're Enough, I Wasn't Me, and Blood is Thicker than Water

I literally forgot I didn't post the last two of my 12 poems I wrote at work randomly. Whoops!

The first poem is impower, but TRIGGER WARNING for the next two.

I Wasn't Me is triggering for PTSD flashbacks, and bullying.

Blood is Thicker than Water is triggering for child abuse.

You're Enough

The world says if a woman likes pink
Unicorns
Rainbows
And lollipops
She's childish

If she likes makeup
High heels
And jewelry
She's shallow

If she likes books
Movies
Video games
And comics
She's fake

If she wears too little clothes
She's asking for it
If she wears too much clothes
She's a prude

If she's fat
She's a slob
If she's skinny
She's a surfboard

If you listen to them
And all those lies
You can't win
So listen to this:

You're beautiful
You're a goddess
You're a fairy
You're a mermaid

You're a warrior
You're a fighter
You're amazing
You're a queen

You're enough

I Wasn't Me

I spent a day at the mall with my best friend
Buying clothes that made us feel beautiful
And walking to the car
We passed him.
The boy who shattered my mind.

When I walked passed him I wasn't me.
A working girl who spent her hard earned cash to look good
With someone who mattered to her
And never treated her like trash

I was that little girl
Being broken for the first time
Beneath a male's fists and words
Until she died

I was an older girl now
Still too young for his vulger words
Ready to reply with violence
You want to kill me I'll kill you first

Then I was 18
When two boys pulled the same thing as him
And that piece I tricked myself into believing had healed
Fractured and broke apart again

And then we passed him by and went for food
I had just finished eating
When he walked in

Suddenly I was a little girl all over again
Breaking
Shattering
Nowhere was safe

And then I went home
And I didn't recognize my reflection

I was a woman
A working girl who spent her hard earned cash to look good
With someone who mattered to her
And never treated her like trash

And I was broken all over again

Blood is Thicker than Water

Blood is thicker than water
It means be true to your family
A nice sentiment

But for the girl whose brothers broke her
Whose sisters laughed
And parents who carved the lesson of pain into her body

For the girl who was pregnant
And told by her own mother
"I hope you lose the baby"

For the boy with a father that
Used his fists and hands to silence him
So that he didn't speak to anyone for over a year

For the girl whose mother
Called her to break her over and over
Just because she could

"Blood is thicker than water"
Is a shackle and chain
Tying them to violence and pain undeserved

Blood may be thicker than water
But love will always matter more than blood

Some Girls, Dragons, and For Carrie

Yeah, it's been a bit, but I was debating over one of my poems I wrote, and just decided against posting it. It's a personal one that may hurt some people's feelings, and honestly is literally titled "For Ravyn", so for right now she's the only one who gets to see that one.

But here are two more that are little more upbeat. Not as heavy as a few of the other poems I just read to decide what would come next.

First is my declaration that I can be anything I imagine and more. (And so can you)

Second is saying I refuse to live in just this reality.

Third is simply For Carrie.

Some Girls

Some girls are born with wings
And some with tails and gills
Some are born with crowns and tiaras
And some are born with stars

I was born with music in my head
And words and poems in my veins

I may not be a goddess, or a fairy, or a mermaid, or a princess
But once I was taught 10 words
I found a book and read

Then I read and read and read and read
And then wrote and wrote and wrote
And wrote myself to be all of them and more

Dragons

They say
Keep your head out of the clouds
Keep your mind on the ground
Keep your focus in the here and now

They say
Don't look back
The past is the past
Mind over matter

They say
Fantasy is useless
Fiction is pointless
It's better to be real

Well I say
Stories kept me alive
When the world tore me apart

Fantasy is better than a reality
Where there is no justice or mercy

And fiction matters more
Than the world where the innocent
Lose and lose and lose and lose

I say
The fake worlds are better
And kept the fire inside alive
And taught me hope

I don't care what they say
Fiction and fantasy and stories
The made up and unreal
Will always triumph

After all
“Fairy tales are more than true:
Not because they tell us that dragons exist,
But because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.”
- Neil Gaiman

For Carrie

When I was a little girl
I watched a princess who wasn't always nice

She didn't always smile
And called people names
When men came to save her
She grabbed a gun and mowed the enemy down

She kicked asses, took names
And fell in love with a scoundrel
Without shame or fear
And saved the day as any man ever could

When I learned of the women
Who played this princess
I learned that she was almost same
She kicked asses, took names

And yet her mind split into two
She struggled almost her whole life
Just to find a way to live

When I learned she collapsed on a plane
I cried and I prayed
That she would be okay

And instead
God took her away from the world
And so she wouldn't be alone
He took her mother right after

I will strive to live my life
With a broken mind
Kicking asses, and taking names

So that the Star Princess
Will smile down on me
And say, "There you go.
"Show those bastards how it's done."

Peace and Drop of Sunlight (Poems)

Here are some more poetry I wrote at work last Saturday.

These two are more personal, and not funny. Like I said with Poetry, I took all the feelings in my heart and poured them into 10 poems and wanted to cry. These are so real and mean a lot to me. I hope you like them.

Peace

Once upon a time

There was a girl

Who wanted to be a princess

Her parents told her 

"Be whatever you want to be"

If you have the will

You can do it

Then the girl went to school

And some boys

And some girls

But mostly boys

Ripped her mind apart

By 11 she didn't believe she would live

By 13 she didn't want to live

By 18 her body was ripping itself apart like her mind

But then the girl was a woman

A broken woman who refused to give up

And because she didn't give up she found peace

Drop of Sunlight

Why is it so bad

When your mind is trapped in black clouds

And each day is like walking through a dark, misty forest

That you need to take a drop of sunlight?

Why are we told it's wrong?

Looked down on for taking it?

When you take it the mist fades

The gray sky clears

The sun rises for the first time in years

And the suddenly there's a path forward

You can breathe

You can move

You can sing

You can dance

And most of all

You can smile

I'll keep taking my drop of sunlight

And ignore the nay-sayers

Because that drop of sunlight

Is the best thing to happen to me

Poetry and We're Screwed

Sooo...

Hello.

I'm alive.

And I'm sorry for not posting. I'll have a video up at the end of the month explaining what happened and being 100% honest with myself and the world about the why, so you'll have to check my YouTube Channel to learn all of that, cuz it's 1 AM and I'm not gonna post about it just yet.

One thing that has really suffered in my writing. I haven't posted any writing on here for one reason: I haven't written a word in over a year that wasn't something silly or me defending my friends. No stories, no poems, no fanfiction. Nothing. And if that isn't sending up a red flag, it should. The moment I noticed I panicked a bit and knew something had to change.

And it has. NOW I'm back, and the need to write has been driving me crazy for the past 2 weeks or so.

So I tried to edit Warrior.
Nope.
Then I tried to edit a new chapter in W.i.t.c.h. - The Full Story.
Nope.

At work today (or, technically, yesterday) I wrote 12 poems. TWELVE. I've never written that many in a YEAR, or even FIVE YEARS least of all ONE SHIFT AT WORK!!!

Here are actually the last two I wrote. The first explains how today went, while the second just sums up America right this second in my mind. It's something that was expressed this time last year and has only become more real as time went on.

Poetry

Poetry is like picking at scabs
It may feel good at first
A release of an inch
But in the end you still bleed

The difference is you write all your words out
And then you want to cry
But you’re at work
And the big dude sitting behind you would stare

(His reaction in my brain)

We're Screwed

You know the world is screwed

When you look at the last mess of a leader

And look at the current one and say

"There's very little I wouldn't give to put Bush in office instead."

At least he's a good idiot, and not an evil one.