Sorry for not posting lately, I've been really busy, but I have something I want to share today.
People have been talking about Robin Williams, and what his suicide can do to you if your that depressed that you’ve thought about suicide. I decided to put my two cents in.
I’ve battled depression since middle school, and until i was 18 I had no help. I know what it’s like to dream about pain and fear and wake up so afraid, dreading the sunrise and yet craving it because then you can be busy, then you can do something other think, because your thoughts all turn on you. I know what it’s like to not want to sleep because you don’t want to wake up.
When people would try to help me, they’d say that life is dark sometimes, but light too. After therapy and many conversations and dark, dark parts, my view of life is a lot like a forest. A dark, dank, forest. You don’t really know where you’re going, that’s something you learn as an adult, no on does. You don’t know if you’ll succeed at anything. You have no clue. You stumble around, sometimes in the dark, but mostly in a dim light. And then there are moments, whole days even, where you’re in direct sunlight, and the forest falls away for a little while, and you can see the sky. The future’s bright, life is shown in all it’s glorious wonder, and you have no fears or worries.
While it may seem, especially if you have depression or anxiety, or both, that the dark is what wins more often than not, it isn’t. I think life’s equally light and dark, if you live it. You have to live it to see all the light times. There are a lot of them. But sometimes you’re just staring into the dark undergrowth and don’t notice the sun’s on you. You don’t notice when you stumble into groves full of flowers. But they’re there.
And you are not alone.You may wonder if anyone feels the way you do. Lots of people do. Sadly more than you’d think. So many people feel like life isn’t worth living, even if they’re on top of their game. You have people that care about you. Especially with social media, they may never meet you in person, not know you on sight, but they care. I care. Trust me.
Please, if you’re wondering if life’s worth living, it is. Even through the dark parts. To quote Samwise the Brave from The Lord of the Rings:
Frodo asks “What are we holding onto, Sam?”
Sam answered with what I want you to remember, “That there’s some good in this world, and it’s worth fighting for!”
The goodness in life is worth fighting for, but you’ll never know if you don’t keep living.
If you need help, ask for it. here’s a link to crisis centers across the globe. if you live in the U.S., this is the national suicide prevention hotline: 1-800-273-8255.