FanFic Poem ~ Lily's Inner Tears

So, I was feeling pretty depressed and mad at myself for losing my temper (what else is new, right?). And I realised that instead of thinking in the mode of a story, which is freakish-normal for me, I was thinking in the terms of a poem.

So I decided to write a poem.

At first it was for me, and how I felt, but then I realised that it was more like how Lily feels.

Now, you all know by now that I'm the editor/beta for LA Knight, aka Ray, aka my bestie/best friend for all of eternity. And she's published several books now, two of which are from her Twilight Chessboard series. Well, if you haven't picked it up yet (shame on you! Unless you're from another coutry. Sadly Amazon won't ship outside of the US or Canada. Boo on you, Amazon!), Lily is the protaginist, or the badguy in the first two novels. She tears up peoples lives, as well as their bodies. And in more than one case, she kills them. Not personally, but they died because she said so.

Anywho, Lily Whitmoore is evil, evil, EVIL. Right?

Sort of. See, her father's the *real* nasty here. He abuses her, and so does her mother. She thinks terribly of herself because of it, and takes that out, which is what they taught her to do, literallly, on other people. Namely Jack, the male lead.

At the end of book 2 *SPOILER IF YOU CARE* she loses to Alyssa, the main character, and to save her life from her psychotic father, moves in with Alyssa. *END OF SPOILER THANK YOU*

So that's where this is coming from.

Also, please check it out on Figtment and give it a heart, if you would. 'Kay thanks!
http://figment.com/books/748820-Lily-s-Tears

Do you ever feel this?

Trapped, alone,

Lost, forsaken,

Unrecognized

Never gonna be good enough

Never can be good enough

Look in the mirror

See the flaws

Nod to yourself

That’s why no one cares

I see you

Happy

Loved

Cared for

Recognized

Everything I am not

Stupid failure

Stupid girl

Who’d want you

Abandoned by your mother

Your father, your brother

Your friend

My friend

He’s gone.

Gone

And he’s never coming back

Because I’m not good enough.

And I wonder

Do you ever feel this?

Of course not.

Because you have him.

My Week(s) in Pics! ~1/4 - 1/19~

Hey ya'll!

Sorry for not posting one of these recently, I was having trouble getting my pictures, and for a bit there it was a real pain to get them off my camera because of the card I use. BUT! I managed to get the slot on my new (it's actually old) computer to work. YAY!

*Ahem*

Anywho, here's some things that have happened in the past few weeks!

Did you know that Anne of Green Gables has a MANGA!? Because I didn't! Only the first three books are in manga form, but I'm totally reading them! Already on chapter 5 of the first volume

Been voting for Lindsey Stirling on Dance Showdown, and paused it right at this face. LOL!

You can vote for her here: http://www.danceon.com/video/91-lindsey-stirling-becomes-americas-next-top-model 

My mom's friend gave her some more makeup! Some of this is going to my best friends :)

Some flowers by the back door are in bloom! These are called Christmas Cactus, because they bloom in the winter. I love how one of theme is part red flowers, and part white. So pretty! :)

It was a steak and potato kind of night! ;)

Oh, and the steak was super thick, so I was full after!

Just some things I'm always grateful for!

This is the fourth day of the Inner Beauty Challenge from Benefit Cosmetics. You can learn more about it here: http://innerbeautychallenge.com/

And to see my first day challenge, check it here: https://www.facebook.com/llobrien13/posts/563140887096144

That was my past week!

Did you take on a challenge, or find something new?

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My Week in Pics ~1/4 - 1/11~

Hey guys!

So I don't have many pictures, but I do have a few. Sadly, the best part of the week was when I logged in and found out that I had 122 views in ONE DAY! OMG, thank you guys so much! I wanted to take a picture, but I waited an hour, and stupid blogspot.com had moved down so I couldn't see it anymore! I think it was January 6th. But even if it was just 22 views, thanks so much!!!

Anywho, onto the pics!

Panda's opened just down the road from my house (okay, not just down the road. Just down the road is desert in every direction. But closer to my home than the 30+ min drive it was before!) So I've eaten there twice this past week! I must say, I'm loving it, because they're veggies aren't drenched in butter (I think. I hope not!) And their Teriyaki Chicken is AMAZING!!!

Oh, now I'm getting hungry. o.o"

This was my fortune when I went with my brother. As an author, I hope my book becomes famous. Then I just write for a living! A girl can dream, right? lol!

...this was my brothers. He's only 26! Come on, fortune cookie! LOL! We thought it was hilarious. :)

Michelle Phan is doing a giveaway, but she's encouraging her followers to post bare-faced selfies. So this is me without makeup! I don't wear makeup around my house, nor when I'm gonna just edit with Ray. For goodness's sake, I normally wear pj's around my house until late at night. I can't help it! I'm not going anywhere five days out of the week, so who cares, right?

So that was my week! Again, big THANK YOU for viewing my blog! Really makes my day when I get more than the two or three from me posting!

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My Week in Pics ~12/26 - 1/3~

Hey guys!

So I don't have many pics this week, I was working on a ton of blog posts for ya'll! (seriously, if you haven't noticed, I've done 4 times the regular amount this week, holy crap). But I do have a few pictures for ya!

Here they are!

New Years day is Dillard's largest and busiest sale of the year. Basically if it's on clearance, it's an additional 50% off. Not of everything, but most things! Got a cute purple skirt, star scarf, and cute socks! The tights are the wrong size, so I'm gonna have to return them today or tomorrow.

I also picked up this GORGEOUS ring for $7! Only seven bucks, man! LOVE it! The peach color of the stone will totally go with rose gold, which I'm planning on getting some jewelry in that color for gem show!

Since it's a new year, most are making resolutions. I made some, but this is my main one.

This is the rest!!! Though they're more of goals than a resolution. My main goal this year is finish and publish Warrior. I want to see it on book shelves by this time next year, or it being very close to it!

I know most would start looking for an agent now, but with my carpal tunnel acting up, I don't want to risk the book not being finished on time. I can't sit for 14 hrs and type. In fact I can barely handle 4. But I'm going to do my best to get Warrior done.

Did you make any resolutions? How about the after Christmas sales, hit them up?

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My Monthly Favorites ~December 2013~

Last of my favorites for a month! Here's what I loved last month!

MOVIE

The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug

If you saw my yearly favorites, this shouldn't be a surprise. I went with my family for my mom's birthday, and it's now my favorite movie of all time.

Check my review here: http://lorienlobrien.blogspot.com/2013/12/the-hobbit-desolation-of-smaug-review.html

BOOK

The Fall of Five by Pittacus Lore

This was one of...seven books I received for Christmas, and it's the only one I hadn't read before. Once again, Pittacus Lore has done it. Amazing novel! I love the twists, though I very sad that someone dies. Recommended for all fantasy/sci fi lovers!!!

VIDEO

Bubz does Gwuiyomi

Okay, the way Bubz does it is a little...creepy. Too cutesy and just weird to watch. But after...OMG, AFTER! Her husband does it. You've GOT to see this vid, it's just too funny!!!

FOOD

Pumpkin Cheesecake

Okay this is NOT a picture of the pumpkin cheesecake I made that had everyone who tasted it fall in love (with my cooking skills). I actually was so busy eating it that I never took a pic! Out of four pies!!! ><

BUT! 

It is SO good! It's a Paula Deen recipe, and I've never seen anything online with such a high rating! 4.9 out of 5 stars, man! You can check it and try it for yourself here: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/paula-deen/pumpkin-cheesecake-recipe/index.html

MUSIC

I've been in love with a lot of music this past month, so I don't have 3, I've got 4!

I See Fire covered by Peter Hollens

I was in love with the original, but this version is better. Love it!

The Phoenix by Fall Out Boy

The video's a little disturbing, but I love this song. I was in a bad mood when I first heard it and it totally pulled me out of it. Still addicted.

My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark by Fall Out Boy

I was addicted to this song first, so I got the album from the library and then discovered The Phoenix. I really like it and it's been playing non stop too.

Same Old War by Our Last Night

Last of all is this song. I was looking for rock covers of pop songs for my latest W.i.t.c.h. chapter and these guys do that! But this isn't a cover, it's an original. And MAN you've got to see the video! So well done!

Check the vid here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojeNjpogoqk&list=PLC8734D3A19F68257&index=197

So that's my past monthly favorites for 2013. Wow that year flew by, and now I'm in 2014. Holy crap, as a little kid I couldn't see myself living this long, not sure why.

What were your favs for December? And did you find new loves from Christmas, like I did?

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Music Favorites of 2013

Hey Guys!

Sorry for not posting again yesterday, my hands were bugging me. But, I just finished finalizing my list for 2013!

To start things off, let's see what Spotify, what I'm usually using to listen to music, has to say about my streaming.

In case you can't read it, or are too lazy to click (been there too, buddy), here's what it says:

Top 10 Tracks of 2013 on Spotify

1) Selena Gomez - Come and Get It (153 Streams)
2) Victorious Cast - Here's 2 Us
3) Jessie J - Wild
4) Justin Timberlake - Mirrors
5) Blush - Up Up and Away
6) Ester Dean - Let It Grow
7) Imagine Dragons - Radioactive
8) Sam Tsui - Me Without You
9) Skillet - Not Gonna Die Tonight
10) Taylor Swift - Safe & Sound

Top Artist - Selena Gomez (439 Streams)
Top Album - Shake It Up: I < 3 (333 Streams)
Top Playlist - Go Girl (5,864 Streams)

I had over 30 songs mentioned in monthly favorites, which I listed, then I went through my kpop songs I listened to last year, most of which aren't on Spotify and listed them. I shorted it to a list of 22 songs. Here they are!

1. Selena Gomez - Come & Get It
2. Justin Timberlake - Mirrors
3. Imagine Dragons - Radioactive
4. Skillet - Not Gonna Die
5. Daughtry - Waiting for Superman
6. Peter Hollens - I See Fire
7. Fallout Boy - The Phoenix
8. Sam Tsui - Me Without You
9. Sam Tsui + Elle Winter - Unsinkable
10. Carly Rae Jepsen - Tonight I'm Getting Over You
11. Lana Del Rey - Young & Beautiful (DH Orchestral Version)
12. Ester Dean - Let It Grow
13. Nickelback - Just to Get High
14. Katy Perry - Unconditionally
15. Little Mix - Wings
16. Thousand Foot Krutch - Courtesy Call
17. Rochelle Diamante - Queen Bee
18. CL - The Baddest Female
19. Fallout Boy - My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark
20. BIGBANG - Bad Boy

HONORABLE MENTIONS

21. Marina and the Diamonds - How to be a Heartbreaker
22. Our Last Night - Same Old War

Even though Peter Hollens' "I See Fire" came out just last month, it's absolutely beautiful and had to make this list.

Now, there were some rocking albums last year, so I had to list my top 5 favorites also, since I loved them so much!
1. Lindsey Stirling - Lindsey Stirling (Extended Edition)
2. Selena Gomez - Stars Dance
3. Wondergirls - Wonder Party
4. Skillet - Rise
5. Sam Tsui - Make It Up

And last of all, I have to mention my favorite music video!

The Wizard of Ahhs by Todrick Hall ft. Pentatonix

It's just so well done and very addicting. No other music video by a Youtuber or record company can compare.

That's all for my music favorites of last year! Wow, it's a lot. I really am an audiophile.

I'm making a playlist of my favorite songs of last year, so check me out on Spotify, my username's lorien13. I'll also send out a link to the playlist on Facebook and Twitter!

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