Saturday, July 27, 2013

W.i.t.c.h. The Full Story: Prologue

I'M BACK!!!

Okay, not fully back, not until probably next week or the week after, but I found something to work on. It's OLD but it's what really got me ready to start working on Star Warriors. Without writing this, I would've never been talented enough to not only have a whole novel planned, but several more as well. I would've never dreamed of working on two things at once.

This is a fanfic, or Fan Fiction, where you take somthing someone else created and do your own spin on it. LA Knight became famous by doing a thousand times over until she became the number one writer in her fandom. I am speaking about her phenominal fanfic Once Upon a Time, for Hellboy 2: The Golden Army. This is one of my favorite stories she's EVER written!

I used to hate fanfiction, but LA changed my view on it, though not at first. It was years before I read a word of it, and much longer before I admitted I even liked any of it. Now I'm sitting here waiting like a love struck puppy for her next Once chap!

But I digress.

This work is for the cartoon W.i.t.c.h. which is based on a french comic by the same name by Elisabetta Gnone. I can't get my hands on the comic easily, but I've read 10 of the novel-editions of the comics, and seen most of the episodes. I've seen season 1 a million times, which is all this work will cover. I of course will be taking my own spin on it, making it much more mature (see the male lead being tortured instead of sitting in a cell all nice and pretty like in episode 1) and adding in my own religion in place of the strange one found in the comics and hinted at in the show.

Alright, that's a HUGE forward compared to my prologue. Here's W.i.t.c.h.!



Prologue

In the beginning was Darkness. But then there was Light, and with Light, creation. Many worlds were formed and some teemed with life. Man was created and ordained to rule the world that he walked.

But Darkness was not quelled. Men have been gifted with agency, the right to choose whether to follow Light or Dark. Most men have chosen Light. But on many worlds Darkness holds the upper hand. Our world, Earth, is one. Another is Kandrokar.

Kandrokar is different from Earth, as there is only one ruler, one country, one world. If the ruler gives into the Darkness, the world will follow, as their will is the law and way of the land. It was not hard for the world to fall, as so it fell. For many years only Darkness reigned and the people were all but lost.

So five from Earth were chosen to become the Guardians. Brave young women who had been granted great power traveled across time and space to fight for the Light and spread it throughout the world. But it wasn’t enough. After many generations the Light was still weak and the Guardians’ reach was failing. And the Darkness was spreading, reaching beyond Kandrokar to other worlds, tainting them. Desperate, the girls used all but the smallest portion of their power and sealed off Kandrokar behind the great veil. Only a seal given to the one member of the royal family not lost to the darkness, the youngest prince, could open portals in the veil to other worlds.

But even the prince’s heart was lost, and he chose power, slaying his family to take the one nation of Meridian for himself. He gained the power of immortality and has ruled through Darkness for many years. His name is Phobos, and he has remained locked within the veil.

The Guardians aged and their powers left them. Some have died. No new Guardians have been chosen.

Until now.

1 comment:

  1. Fanfiction is good practice, I admit. I totally needed it. If I hadn’t done fanfiction first, I wouldn’t be anywhere near this good. I’d still be as bad as when I wrote Harper of My Heart. Ugh…that was just…bad. BAD! But disturbingly popular.

    I love Once Upon a Time. I actually mention in my bio that my fic is the top-reviewed fic in the fandom in the world. It’s so popular. It makes me happy. =) I’m very glad you love it so much. I will try to have chapter 96 (and maybe 97) for you by next week.

    I’m glad you don’t hate fanfiction anymore. =) Because I adore fanfiction. It’s a great way to learn new tricks and stuff from different authors. Like with “Darkness,” I learned a couple tricks from Alydia Rackham, a fanfic author I love very much. Not as much as you, but I love her.

    Does this mean you will read my James Bond fic (if I ever write it)? I can do anything, you know. *nods* Even make Loki somewhat sympathetic. So…?

    “…which is based on a french comic by the same name by Elisabette Gnone.”
    French should be capitalized. =)

    Yeah, they would TOTALLY torture Caleb. Or do something else, like lock him in a tiny box with no light and starve him or something (like Loki in “Darkness”).

    And here we go with the prologue! WOOHOO! I’m SO EXCITED! SO EXCITED!!! You have NO IDEA!! I’ve been wondering if this would ever come back for years! EEEEEK!!!!

    “In the beginning was Darkness.”
    First of all, kudos for capitalizing the word “Darkness.” Gives it a heavy sense of foreboding and creepiness. Like, it’s alive almost.
    It’s alive. It’s ALIVE!
    *ahem*
    Also, I like this opening line. I dunno why. I do. It’s awesome. So there! =)

    Kudos for use of the word “quelled.”

    Okay, most of this prologue is written in past tense, but then you go into present tense from here (“Men have been gifted with agency…”) to right here (“It was not heard for the world to fall…”). Then you go back to past tense.

    “If the ruler gives into the Darkness, the world will follow, as their will is the law and way of the land.”
    I LOVE how this is worded!!! So much that one of my ! turned into @ for a second. LOVE!!

    “It was not hard for the world to fall, as so it fell.”
    AND so it fell
    Still epically worded, though. AWESOME!

    I love prologues like this. They’re so cool. They always remind me of the beginning of Conan the Barbarian, when Mako is talking about King Conan before the actual events of the film start. So cool. Classically cool.

    “And the Darkness was spreading, reaching beyond Kandrokar to other worlds, tainting them.”
    Other worlds? Really!?!? That’s dangerous, that’s scary, that’s bad! RUN AWAY! Oh, wait, no, you have to keep writing. Forget the run away thing. Just you keep writing, dear. =)

    “Desperate, the girls used all but the smallest portion of their power and sealed off Kandrokar behind the great veil.”
    I would capitalize it, and make it “the Great Veil.”

    “Only a seal given to the one member of the royal family not lost to the darkness, the youngest prince, could open portals in the veil…”
    You’ve capitalized “darkness” every other time, so make this “not lost to the Darkness…”
    And if you choose to capitalize “the Great Veil,” you should capitalize “veil” here, too.

    “His name is Phobos, and he has remained locked within the veil.”
    BEHIND the veil

    “Until now.”
    O.O
    Dun-dun-DUNN!!!

    Wait…the end. GAH!! Shoot me! Kill me! Strangle me! Help me! I’m dying! DYING! Save me! More…wait. Chapter 1! Excitement!

    <3

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